i dont have anything to say- i’m just super excited it’s friday the 13th! lock your doors kiddos 
friday the 13th!!!
in with the new
new job, new people, new life, new schedule, new goals. everything is new for me right now. and it’s hard..i don’t always deal with it the way i probably should. but it’s also really nice. i’m enjoying the surprising things coming my way and looking forward to finding out what the future holds for me. but there is still the old part of me that wants to hold me back…and i’m just not sure how to make her shut the fuck up
you’re a liar
don’t tell me you love me, when i know you dont
don’t tell me you want me, when there’s someone else
don’t keep calling me, when you have nothing to say
how long will i trail behind you?
can’t you hear these tears?
can’t you see these screams?
i know i don’t have perfect timing,
i choose to be crazy at all the wrong times
but isn’t there someone who can love me when i’m out of control?
don’t tell me it’s you, because i know it’s not
phoenix
phoenix
no matter how many times i fail, there will come a time when i succeed
no matter how many times i get drunk and fall down, i will stand back up
no matter how many times i die, i will live once again
no matter what the night brings, there will always be the morning
no matter how many people hate me, there will always be someone who cares
no matter what, i am a phoenix
ashes fall, but i’m rising up again
i’m evil
i’m a pretty little liar
and i pull my hair back,
ready to create art
but then i look around and you’re not there
and i haven’t been able to replace you
i’m a deceitful little menace
and i’m ready to express myself
but you’re not here to hear me
i’m guess you got tired of it
i’m an evil little version of karma
and i’m ready to dream of things
but there’s no one to share them with
i pushed you away, and wont get you back
i live on coffee and spite
i wash my pillow in tears
i still can’t bring myself to say i’m sorry
the important thing is not life, but the courage we bring to it
so, admittingly i have been feeling a lot of self-pity lately. in fact, i stayed up most of last night thinking about, writing about, and crying about my self-pity. then this morning something i read hit me. there are times in life when we are stripped of everything. everything we love, everything we need. every part of us is torn away and we are left standing naked, asking why and how. it is painful, disheartening, absolutely devastating. but this is when we can learn. these are the times we can see what we are made of and what our purpose is. and although it is painful, sometimes it is the only way. i am learning, in some situations it takes more courage to let go- than it does to fight.
it’s raining, it’s pouring….
okay, well not really pouring. but it is raining. and i’m enjoying it very much. where i just moved from it would rain all the time. sometimes i would ask myself if it would EVER stop raining. but when it started raining here a couple days ago, i got excited. i guess i didn’t know that i would miss it so. rain is cleansing you know, that’s how i feel. it comes and washes everything away- makes it new. a little gift from God.
anger and agnst
i’m just so tired of it. a day filled with anxiety. i have taken all i can take i can take. and i’m tired. i have sacrificed all of myself to try and conform. but i’m done now. i just dont care anymore. the world has taken that from me.
time is on your side
how much time do we have?
to be reborn
to be inspired
to be improved
to be remembered
to be appreciated
to be awakened
how much time do we have?
to be taken serious
to stop being takin so seriously
to be set straight
to be relaxed
to be motivated
to be dreamed of
dreamweaver
been consumed with dreams a lot lately. waking up several times a night questioning my surroundings. and now it seems i have begun daydreaming. dreaming with my eyes open. i guess it’s easier for me to comprehend than ‘realitly’. maybe when we make real life a dream, dreams become real. maybe we learn our superpowers, we finally take control. but maybe i’m just slipping further and further away. and becoming more and more okay with it. i feel like this way they can’t get me. im safe as long as i live in my own land… and yet sometimes it feels wrong. like someone elses dreams are in here. or maybe forgotten dreams.
Hey, you.. come along with me. visit the dreamworld. or would you rather i sent you a revised edition? just come. take the plunge into insanity with me. what are you afraid of? what do you possibly have to lose? remember a time when insanity wasn’t so far away? people need their dreams… and i need you. come with me, we can waste our time together. you’re still there, waiting by the phone. sitting there all alone. i guess you didn’t dream hard enough.
Dream of Me
dream im something good
dream i’m worthwhile
your nightmare was about me wasn’t it?
dream of me the way you want me
the way you need me to be
dream im yours
and i’ll dream your mine
let me haunt your mind
Goodnight
